Valentine's Day: The "No Stress" Way

Valentine’s day is often loaded with impossible expectations that put a lot of pressure on the relationship.

Shortly after New Years, you’ll likely notice store shelves turning shades of red and pink, filling up with candies, chocolates and stuffed animals, as flower shops begin their pre-orders, and “20% of lingerie” spam fills your inbox… This can only mean one thing – Valentine’s Day is right around the corner!

Valentine’s Day can be a great opportunity to do something special or fun with your partner. That being said, you also don’t need a themed holiday to treat your partner well, make them feel special - the most important gift you can give your partner is a loving, healthy fulfilling relationship.

Valentine’s Day often carries some strong opinions, but whether you fall into the category of people who love it, hate or just some where in between, we wanted to share some tips and tricks to make this often-dreaded holiday a little more enjoyable.

1. Lose the expectations.

Why is Valentine’s Day such a dreaded holiday? Aside from the classic complaints of commercializing love, or the exclusion of single people, Valentine’s Day is loaded with impossible expectations. The pressure to plan something elaborate or buy something expensive can be so overwhelming it’s almost inevitable that you and your partner will spend the 14th of February, and the days leading up to it, miserable. Valentine’s day should not have you automatically reaching to swipe a credit card; it is a time to celebrate love with your partner.

2. Keep it simple & enjoyable.

There are probably already activities that you and your partner like doing together, but maybe just don’t have a lot of time to do because of work obligations, family responsibilities or incompatible schedules. Do you like dressing up and going out? Yes? Great, put on your favorite dress and grab a cocktail somewhere fancy. No? No problem! Opt for going somewhere casual, or send the kids to grandma’s house, and have a relaxing night in with take out or cook something tasty together. The point is, you don’t need to succumb to the pressure to plan something elaborate that you do not even enjoy doing. While yours and your partner’s preferences might vary, try to find a middle ground that is enjoyable for each of you – if that’s watching Netflix cuddled on couch together, that’s okay!

3. Avoid the hustle and bustle.

Do you remember the last time you went out to dinner on a Valentine’s Day? Even with a reservation, it was probably really busy with mediocre service as the flustered wait staff run around reciting the Valentine’s Day specials. If you enjoy going out on Valentine’s Day – by all means! In some cases, Valentine’s Day doesn’t fall on the most convenient day; whether you don’t enjoy the rush of the holiday, or your daughter’s dance rehearsal happens to be Monday February 14th, or you just can’t find a babysitter – don’t fret. It’s perfectly okay to celebrate Valentine’s Day on a different day! As long as you and your partner know and appreciate the significant of it, it can be any day that works better for you both! And if you choose to celebrate after, remember that chocolate goes on sale on the 15th 😉.

4. Give your partner a choice .

Are you sure partner really wants those expensive flowers or that edible arrangement? Maybe they do, or maybe your partner would prefer you to surprise them with a coffee, or to make the kids breakfast on Saturday morning. Ask your partner what would mean a lot to them. Surprises can be fun, but it doesn’t hurt to ask each other what you would both like for a Valentine’s Day gift/surprise.

5. Create a tradition

Valentine’s Day is a great opportunity to create a ritual of connection which helps to build shared meaning within your relationship. For Valentine’s Day, a ritual could include watching the same movie or cooking a special meal together. Rituals allow you to look back on your relationship over the years and remember the good times.